I was walking through the grocery store this weekend in search of snacks. I suddenly realized I was walking with the intensity and speed that my college roommates used to tease me about: the “Erin-walk” I think they once called it. With an Olympic-like 200 meter stride and pace, I channeled my inner Usain Bolt and made epic strides with one goal in mind: gluten free lentil chips and lemon hummus. I would reach the self-check out first, beating both the old man with the cane and the mom with a two year old child screaming bloody murder from a shopping cart for a bag of Cheetos. And then, I had a single, simple thought enter my mind…
“Why are you rushing?”
I had no place to be but on my couch watching Simone Biles nail her floor routine. I felt rushed. I was rushed. And I was stressed out from that rushed feeling…Needlessly. If I’m honest I had been feeling that way most of the day.
Do you ever feel the type of rush I’m describing?
What’s interesting about this concept of being rushed, is that as a music teacher, I’m actually “anti-the-concept-of-rushing” with young kids. Have you ever tried to rush a child? I’ve learned that great things actually happen when you don’t rush them. I do my best to let kids just be and they respond brilliantly.
Wouldn’t I like to be treated that way too? It got me thinking, maybe I’d respond brilliantly to not rushing myself too. I absolutely hate being rushed. For someone who has spent most of my life rushing through almost everything I do (with the unusual exception of when I’m teaching), this is almost an alarming declaration of self-abuse. I rush, and rush, and rush, and rush, and I hate it.
I decided in that moment that I would stop rushing. And then I found out …Well…… It’s not that easy to stop, is it.
This morning. I caught myself rushing to get my trash out. My garbage dudes weren’t even coming for a half hour. And then, I raced out the door (accidentally slamming it behind me) to get to the coffee shop, so I could feel focused to then “rushedly” write a zillion posts and continue to rush through the process of my book launch (which I want to savor!!!).
I stopped. I took a deep breath. And I decided to write this blog post instead. I want to engage with these feelings a little bit. Non-rushedly and unplanned.
Why do we rush?
Well. For me… I think a large part of it is something called “scarcity mentality.” For those of you that haven’t heard of it, scarcity mentality is loosely defined as when you approaching any topic from a “place of lack” rather than from a “place of abundance.” It is the worry of not having enough or not being enough. Meaning, that when you look at a situation you would like to be different, you think about what you don’t have, rather than what you do have.
Though I’ve come a long way with scarcity mentality over the past few years, there are certain areas of my life I haven’t quite been able to conquer. Like when I think releasing my various work projects to the public (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh), or about dating (oh God…please don’t make me go there), or about how insanely expensive the recording project I really want to do is/that I can’t afford it (try $30,000 – $40,000 with a proper marketing budget). And I’m back to scarcity thinking and “there isn’t enough.”
The worry stores up inside me, in every little muscle of my body- and then it comes out in strange ways. Simply put: I rush.
But there is one thing I know for sure: I’m changing. I’m noticing it. And I believe we have the power to change one little decision at time. I’ve very slowly started to feel great about the moments when I’m not rushing, and I look forward to many more of those moments. And I am excited to think about all the new possibilities.
What about you?
I’m interested in hearing from you on this topic! In what way does a rushing mentality negatively impact you? your relationships? your love life? art? music? businesses endeavors? jobs? families?—and ultimately the life you want to create? What tangibles do you think will help us all to stop with the rushing? Leave me a line with your thoughts… I look forward to learning about what you’re learning too!
Thank you, trip to the grocery store, for teaching me to Stop Rushing.