Erin Pearson

Erin September Blog
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Fearlessly Reclaiming Time

Too much: that would be the way I’d describe the past 7 to 10 years of my life.

I went from a crazy non-profit job (while I was still teaching music, songwriting and performing on the side) to full time self-employment in the arts which led me eventually to a move across the country: and grad school, and more music shows, and part-time songwriting, and releasing a book, and art/guitar string jewelry shows, and rebuilding my music teaching practice here in Tennessee – all at the same time.

And then there have been all the voices: people in the music industry (and otherwise) who are constantly pushing me to be on this “wheel” of improvement. I should have a flawless voice, the ability to play my instruments perfectly, write my own music, orchestrate my own music, lead a band, respond well to critique, collaborate all the time, record perfectly from my own home studio, write 2 songs a day, be an expert marketer, grow my mailing list, be an expert graphic designer, website manager, blogger, gig booker, song plugger, networker, self-publisher, dynamic live performer, entrepreneur…and then I should be able to afford to give it all away for free while somehow still finding a way to make it all sustainable and profitable. And I should never ever get or be tired!

Ha. Recipe for anxiety right there. Just being real over here today that sometimes this is what it feels like being a self-employed artist.

Though I am a perpetual learner and will continue to be—there comes a time when a girl has to draw her line in the sand and say “Enough opinions. My opinion, when it comes to my own life, is the one that matters most. I want to make choices about how I’d like to spend the precious time life offers me, without the voices of others telling me want I should or shouldn’t do all the time.”

And this is how I’ve been spending my September. Free of all this. I just took a big fat, lazy break from it all and it’s been absolutely the most amazing month I’ve had in years. I’ve been busy fearlessly reclaiming my time. I’ve been recalibrating. I’ve been enjoying traveling and friends. I’ve been enjoying dating and being out on the town. But I’ve also been quiet, private and unashamedly early if I feel like I need the extra sleep. I’ve been enjoying beach volleyball, college football and going to see the live music shows of people who are not me. I’ve (of course) been music teaching still…but overall, I’ve been enjoying a slower pace and some precious time to decide what I really want to put on my plate for this next season. This month has been a real luxury and I’m soaking up every second remaining.

A toast to September! The last bit of summer and the coming fall. My best wishes to any of you who may also just need a little bit of a break. Shoot me a line.

Rush
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Stop Rushing

I was walking through the grocery store this weekend in search of snacks. I suddenly realized I was walking with the intensity and speed that my college roommates used to tease me about: the “Erin-walk” I think they once called it. With an Olympic-like 200 meter stride and pace, I channeled my inner Usain Bolt and made epic strides with one goal in mind: gluten free lentil chips and lemon hummus. I would reach the self-check out first, beating both the old man with the cane and the mom with a two year old child screaming bloody murder from a shopping cart for a bag of Cheetos. And then, I had a single, simple thought enter my mind…

“Why are you rushing?”

I had no place to be but on my couch watching Simone Biles nail her floor routine. I felt rushed. I was rushed. And I was stressed out from that rushed feeling…Needlessly. If I’m honest I had been feeling that way most of the day.

Do you ever feel the type of rush I’m describing?

What’s interesting about this concept of being rushed, is that as a music teacher, I’m actually “anti-the-concept-of-rushing” with young kids. Have  you ever tried to rush a child? I’ve learned that great things actually happen when you don’t rush them. I do my best to let kids just be and they respond brilliantly.

Wouldn’t I like to be treated that way too? It got me thinking, maybe I’d respond brilliantly to not rushing myself too. I absolutely hate being rushed. For someone who has spent most of my life rushing through almost everything I do (with the unusual exception of when I’m teaching), this is almost an alarming declaration of self-abuse. I rush, and rush, and rush, and rush, and I hate it.

I decided in that moment that I would stop rushing. And then I found out …Well…… It’s not that easy to stop, is it.

This morning. I caught myself rushing to get my trash out. My garbage dudes weren’t even coming for a half hour. And then, I raced out the door (accidentally slamming it behind me) to get to the coffee shop, so I could feel focused to then “rushedly” write a zillion posts and continue to rush through the process of my book launch (which I want to savor!!!).

I stopped. I took a deep breath. And I decided to write this blog post instead. I want to engage with these feelings a little bit. Non-rushedly and unplanned.

Why do we rush?

Well. For me… I think a large part of it is something called “scarcity mentality.” For those of you that haven’t heard of it, scarcity mentality is loosely defined as when you approaching any topic from a “place of lack” rather than from a “place of abundance.” It is the worry of not having enough or not being enough. Meaning, that when you look at a situation you would like to be different, you think about what you don’t have, rather than what you do have.

Though I’ve come a long way with scarcity mentality over the past few years, there are certain areas of my life I haven’t quite been able to conquer. Like when I think releasing my various work projects to the public (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh), or about dating (oh God…please don’t make me go there), or about how insanely expensive the recording project I really want to do is/that I can’t afford it (try $30,000 – $40,000 with a proper marketing budget). And I’m back to scarcity thinking and “there isn’t enough.”

The worry stores up inside me, in every little muscle of my body- and then it comes out in strange ways. Simply put: I rush.

But there is one thing I know for sure: I’m changing. I’m noticing it. And I believe we have the power to change one little decision at time. I’ve very slowly started to feel great about the moments when I’m not rushing, and I look forward to many more of those moments. And I am excited to think about all the new possibilities.

What about you?

I’m interested in hearing from you on this topic! In what way does a rushing mentality negatively impact you? your relationships? your love life? art? music? businesses endeavors? jobs? families?—and ultimately the life you want to create? What tangibles do you think will help us all to stop with the rushing? Leave me a line with your thoughts… I look forward to learning about what you’re learning too!

Thank you, trip to the grocery store, for teaching me to Stop Rushing.

Be Gentle Phot
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Be Gentle

This week has been a particularly tough week in the news. It is hard to know how to process everything going on in our cultural climate where there are attacks everywhere. I often don’t know how to respond. One thing I’m learning about myself though, is that what I really need the most during these times is just to be gentle.

So often…I’m not gentle. I pushed myself hard this past year. Too hard actually. And I’ve felt it in my body. And those sneaking thoughts have crept in… did I do enough? Did I write enough? Did I paint enough? Did I reach out to enough people? Am I pretty enough? Successful enough? Popular enough? Did I network with the right people to make something something of myself?

Do you relate?

I want to be more gentle with myself. And I want to be more gentle with others. And I want others to be more gentle with me. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all just take a deep breath? I’ve been breathing a lot more lately. And I’m really and truly hoping to live more gently in the coming weeks and days. It feels good to stop picking at myself/others, and starting loving more.

 

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And… I Threw Him Out

Yep, you heard me right. I threw a belligerently drunk man (who was basically heckling the performers! what?), out of my writers round the other night. Right there during the middle of a performance, I told him he was insulting me, called for security and asked him to leave (for the record, the crowd cheered). For those of you who know me well, you’re probably in disbelief that I had it in me to do such a thing! However, Nashville is bringing out Erin 2.0. The Erin with a backbone. The Erin who has finally stopped apologizing unnecessarily. The Erin who would throw someone out of her gig to stand up for herself if necessary.

For way too long now, I’ve felt like I’ve had to be the person that everyone else wants me to be. As a performer, musician, artist, music teacher, business woman, and even as a person. I’ve just been so worried that I have to look the right way, say the right thing, and that everything I do has to be just “so” to be taken seriously in this life. I just feel like it’s time to let my hair down a little.

One of my music mentors today reminded me that IT IS ME who gets to do the picking. And though I will always continue to learning, I don’t need to take crap from anyone… professionally or personally anymore. What a refreshing thought.

As I enter a period of time where I am finishing up my first book, working tirelessly on TV/Film music pitches, closing my last semester of grad school, doing my best to still write and perform, teaching music full time, AND trying to be a good auntie, daughter, sister and friend: I needed that reminder. I simply can’t be the perfect person to all people at all times, nor should I be expected to. I’m not a machine, I’m a human and I’m spread thin right now. I simply get to be myself as I work hard at my art each and every day, taking life as it comes, unapologetically. And… standing up for myself when it is necessary.

Peace, love, and especially STRENGTH.
DO what you need to do today, unapologetically.

Erin

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Broken Leg Chronicles

It has been 3 months and 7 days since I broke my leg playing rec soccer. And today, I’ve officially been walking on my own two feet for 13 of those days (with a small brace of course). Yep, it was a really bad break. Though I’m still hobbling around, it feels pretty good getting back to my life after feeling like my summer was a bit high-jacked by the recovery process.

But…the process of having a very broken leg was actually invaluable to me. I learned a few very awesome things this summer that I hope to carry with me into the future. Just wanted to share…

1.Things seem more special when your pace is slow. I don’t really like to go slow. I’m not going to say that I was a big fan when I had to get used to lying in bed with my foot immobilized. However, as I was forced to be more intentional around my energy level and the activities, I started to appreciate everything I was able to do more. All of the sudden, going out for dinner or to spend time was a really big deal to me. I think it’s a huge gift to be able to appreciate what you have more. I’m pretty thankful for that.

2. I am right on time. As I’m in the middle of a master’s thesis project, writing a book, trying to update my website, teaching music lessons, trying to book/play shows, working on more songs for a new album, and producing other songs that I’ve owed people for months now – I’ve struggled in feeling like I’m “behind.”  But then, being broken to the point where I just really had to reschedule a lot that was on my plate, taught me to see things differently. Even though my timelines are screwed up—I feel a sudden freedom to just be where I am at. And I am right on time.

3. I respect businesses that are handi-friendly
I have a sudden appreciation for people, businesses, and organizations that go the extra mile to make sure the millions of handicapped people out there, who need to get around, are cared for. I was actually shocked by the amount of people who were extremely rude to me while I was on crutches and in a hard cast. It made me really respect those individuals and businesses who met with me with care and respect, which were also many. My leg healed, but there are a lot of permanently handicapped people out there who are just not included in society. I will no longer support businesses who I feel are doing this poorly—there is no excuse for it in today’s world for to be behind on this.

4. Breathe. Life is a blessing. It is about the person you and I are becoming. Compassionate and caring, full of kindness, grace, and truth. And deeply good to others. I am reminded that I need to breathe sometimes, count my blessings and continue to just set my priority in caring for others.

Crystal and Erin
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More Fun Together

More Fun Together

More Fun Together

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to do music on my own. Solo gigs. Solo song-writing. Solo-planning. A one woman show. I don’t know if it was just a sense of proving myself or simply nervousness…but for some reason, I used to think that I had to do it on my own.

Ever since I’ve moved to Nashville, I’ve been immersed in a world of musicians who constantly collaborate with a sense of openness and trust. The culture here is all about music, both listening to it and playing it. And I have learned that it is so much more fun doing music with other people. It isn’t that I’ve never collaborated before (Rusty Lindsey & Amy Gordon, I love you guys!), but it’s an amazing feeling to let my guard down and start experiencing music with others in a more free way.

In the spirit of collaboration, my good friend Crystal Leigh Harrell and I recently wrote a song Normal Girls that we are having a lot of fun with. We gave our first performance of it at The Row here in Nashville and wanted to share it with you all.

All this to say: I’m learning that it’s more fun when you do things together! May you experience the joy of collaborating with other people this week in all that you do this week!

Erin Pearson Change of Seasons
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The Season Changes

One of the most interesting things about having spent the past 12 years in California is that we didn’t have seasons. As I sit in my cosy little basement sipping hot tea while curled up in a blanket, I am just more aware of the shift in season. Interestingly enough, I grew up in Minnesota – the land of the freeze, the home of the brave. I can be tough as nails when I need to be, but I think so much time in the California sun has weakened my outer coat. Perhaps that explain the extra 10 pounds I’ve gained since living in Nashville? Probably not (more likely all the pulled pork).

The shift in seasons are largely symbolic to me this year. One year ago today, I wasn’t even considering moving to Nashville (well, seriously anyway). Each season of the past year has brought tears, pain, growth, and joy. It has been quite a year. There has been a lot of change: leaving a job, leaving my music students, leaving my friends, recording an album, driving across the county, starting grad school, entering my first relationship, re-building my music teaching practice, learning to co-write, meeting with publishers, the fizzle of my first relationship, making new soul friends, learning to communicate with long distance soul friends. I am very close with my parents and over Thanksgiving we were talking about just how completely different my life is this year from last year.

As the season shifts into winter, I take pause to acknowledge the wonderful things that have happened this past fall as well as the not so wonderful things. I look forward to jump at the opportunities that winter offers.

Welcome to Nashville
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Welcome to Nashville

Welcome to Nashville

Welcome to Nashville

I finally got my furniture. Yes, it came 30 days beyond when the moving company said it would arrive leaving me to sleep on an aerobed for a month (thank you Kevon & Annie). Other than a bit of a sore back, this has been an incredible time of discovery. My mood has admittedly been up and down as I attempt to adjust to my new world. Overall, I have so much gratitude for my life here in Nashville so far. Voice and piano students seem to be falling out of the sky (who knew in a music city?) and I am grateful to God for the ability to use my gifts to support myself. Overall, I’m a happy gal! It seems like there was a life here waiting for me to discover.

The top 10 things I’ve learned so far: (1) the food is soooooooo amazing here, (2) everyone stays up late and I go to bed at like 9:00, (3) everyone co-writes songs here and I’ve only written 1 song with another person before, (4) liquor is like water to people here and I don’t really drink anymore (because it makes me feel sick all the time), (5) I have a sudden and constant need for my car, (6) everyone I meet seems to have a dog, (7) grad school requires lots of books, (8) the price of book has gone up since I was last in college, (9) shockingly, I can find gluten free food absolutely EVERYWHERE, (10) I think I forgot what running is.

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Farewell Santa Barbara

Leaving Santa Barbara

Leaving Santa Barbara

The past seven years have been filled with sunshine, self-discovery, yoga, friends, and wine country. This has been an invaluable time in my life where I’ve experienced a lot of personal healing and self-acceptance. Running in the mountains, I learned to let go of love lost. Playing volleyball on the beach, I learning to pursue new opportunities fearlessly. Spending time by the ocean, I learned to give God my perfectionism and anxiety. Santa Barbara, is the most beautiful city in the world to me. It is hard to separate with my first true adult home, but the time has come for me to spread my wings and see what else is out there in the world. As I begin a new chapter of my life in Nashville, I will carry with me the lessons of balance and wellness I learned in this amazing place.

Dad at Wifferdill
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Dad-Ventures at Wifferdill Airpark

Riding Around with Dad at Wifferdill Airpark

Riding Around with Dad at Wifferdill Airpark

What is a wifferdill you ask? Wiktionary defines a wifferdill as an an aerobatic manoeuvr in aviation in which an aircraft makes a series of very tight turns in order to reverse its direction of travel. My dad is a pilot. He loves big planes and little planes alike. He and my mom are considering getting a retirement property at a airpark. An airpark is a little community where pilots buy their patch of dirt around a runway. They build houses and hangers and drive their planes right across the lawn to the runway. Spending my summer here in Nashville, my dad and I have been tracing all over the state looking at these random little airparks within 2 hours of Nashville (we are up to 7 now).

But there is no airpark like Wifferdill. Our new buddy, ole man Ray, showed us around this place for 5 hours in one of his hot rods that he personally manufactured. Yes, 5 hours. What do you do on a piece of land for 5 hours, you ask? You tell crazy old stories that only the personal pilot of all the great country stars would know. You look at 3 semis, 20 cars vintage cars and 5 planes he’s working on. As well as Red Lane’s D9 that he turned into a house (long story). I have never had another experience like my afternoon here with my dad and ole man Ray. #goodbluesinspiration #photoshootmaterial #iwillbeback #dadventures

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